Be Still
Jan 18, 2021Funny how I hear this statement all the time. Someone tells me to “be still” at least twice a week. Whether it be because they think I’m going too hard with work, play or motherhood (if that’s even possible), I am constantly told to “be still”. Until recently, that phrase really had no meaning to me - at least not since I was a kid, and my mom would tell me to “be still” in church. But when you’re forced to be still by circumstances out of your control, you start to wonder if sitting still is such a bad thing after all.
2021 was supposed to be a year for change for me. I know everyone always says that at the start of every new year, but I’m fa real. I packed up my life, booked a 3-month trip to Jamaica on a one-way ticket, and was on my way to start my world school (as opposed to homeschool) teaching, work-from-anywhere, free life. I was beyond excited. It felt like my life was just about to get started. I’d said for years that this was the life I wanted to live and after months of asking the universe for guidance on what my next steps should be, the answer was to do what I wanted to do…now!
So, there I was, on my way to start living my dreams, and the universe had other plans. First, my COVID test came back positive. Minor setback, I could work around that. Then, I realized that my son’s passport expired in April and there was no real work around that. COVID has the world shut down and that includes the passport office. Best case scenario, we get his passport in 6 weeks. 6 weeks! I’m losing money and sleep trying to make sense of this entire scenario. My house is in storage, everything else is in suitcases, I’ve been turning away work for weeks so that I could focus on teaching my kids, self-care, and becoming a marketing maven.
Needless to say, I was pissed. And confused. But then I kept thinking that there had to be a reason things weren’t working out in my favor. The universe sent me in this direction, so I have to trust that all of these impediments to travel are protecting me from something. So, I have to sit still. For one, I need to focus on my health and get this sickness out of my body. Thankfully, my symptoms are pretty mild, so it’s not as bad as I expected it to be, but I rarely get sick, so it has been an adjustment.
More importantly, I think I think I am being forced to be still to learn that freedom and happiness is an inside job and it’s not attached to living abroad on white sandy beaches with turquoise waters. I have to be free in my mind so that I’m not carrying the same baggage with me overseas. The idea is to pack light, and apparently, I haven’t mastered that part yet, so the universe is forcing me to sit still until I do.
I don’t think there’s ever been a time where I gave myself that time and space to sit still without being on vacation or being in another location. It’s like I don’t associate home with peace and tranquility or freedom of any sort. But I should. We all should.
So, here’s to finding peace and freedom within the stillness of wherever we might be at the time. Happiness is an inside job. Be still until you find it.
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